THE UNLOVED WIFE

43. HEARD

43. Heard

Aaron's POV

My eyes widened as I checked out my facebook notifications. A wedding invitation? What's all this about?

It was from Mary, ZJ's friend and neighbor. This was all clearly a prank. I closed my eyes and wished that time would run fast. Honestly, I do not know how to handle all this. I feel like I have come to a dead end and there's nowhere left to go.

Having known that ZJ is emotionally and maybe psychologically damaged, there's nothing more I could do but to help her. ZJ's grandma is the only relative she has. Though the grandma requested me to marry her granddaughter, it was all too soon. Zai is still the queen of my heart. I'm still wounded and incapable of ever giving my heart to anyone. The memories of the lock down still haunt me. Her eyes, her smile, our converations, everything.

I don't think I would ever want to love anyone else nor want anyone else. How can the heart try again when it refuses to even look at another? I sigh and checked out those who liked. Some even gave congratulatory comments.

I could refuse it, deny it and all but I don't want any of the women feel ashamed. I was about to press back on my iphone 6 until I noticed one comment.

"Congratulations ^____^," the comment said.

It was from Zai. My heart raced.

Demn, why is my heart racing? Of course, no big deal if she says congratulations. That is not a sign of jealousy nor regret. It simply is her being happy for me. How could she be happy for me? How could she accept that I am to marry in an instant? Doesn't she know the state of my heart? Could she really be that naïve to realize that it's going to take eternity for me to embrace the reality that she really is not destined for me?

Little did I realize that tears were already falling from my eyes. Upon tasting my salty tears, I stood and grabbed my keys, headed for the door, wanting nothing more but to release whatever pain I was in.

But how? How do I end this pain?

As I drove towards the familiar apartment, I turned off the ignition and just waited there. I suddenly remembered the memories I have with Zai on the car. I cursed and cursed and cursed again.

I sobbed and cried my heart out.

She dreamed of me.

She dreamed of us.

She dreamed of me as her husband.

She dreamed of us being legal parents of my dearest adopted boy Yahya.

She dreamed of us and our beautiful daughter.

Astaghfirulllah. Astaghfirullah. Astaghfirullah.

But why, why, why ya Allah? Is this the punishment I get for loving her more than I could ever love myself?

I turn on the ignition and started driving away from ZJ's apartment.

I could marry her. But she'll never be the girl for me. And that would be very unfair to her. As I drove, flashes of memories kept on coming back to me. I could not do away with it. I could not do away without her.

Upon reaching home, I went straight to the shower and took a warm bath.

What now Aaron? Of course, there's nothing to decide. She's not yours. Not yours. It maybe just the devil playing tricks on you and her. Even if you both had wudu before you dreamt that dream. Even if. Even if. You are not meant. You are not meant.

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Zai's POV