Hesitation 18+🔞

Chapter 11: Obtain, maintain

Author's Note:
I know there's a lot with Eld going on lately, but please stick around, I'm building something :D

You wake up late Sunday morning, happy to have not drank to the point of inebriation so any headache is minimal. Peering over to the clock you realize it's almost 11am. The mornings are never kind, the first rays of sun always tend to sting. It's important that you head to the showers and finally free yourself of the moonshine musk when you run into Reiner.

"Hey, how is everything? I'm sorry I couldn't find you in time.. I wasn't approved to leave I had other matters to take care of first." You explain to him.

"I figured, it's alright (Y/N), Gwen understood and she is doing much better. I've got to run but, here. Sasha was looking for you earlier to give this back."  He hands your hairbrush, you take it and its much heavier than usual, it rattles now as well. You look down and then back up at Reiner.

"Thanks." You smile back, and turn around to head back into your room. Something is in here.
Once you get inside, you lock the door and begin to disassemble the brush. Beneath the bristles there's a letter, and some ink and needles.
The letter is sealed with wax and reads

Hey (Y/N), I'm doing a lot better already. I know you're probably reading this and feeling guilty for not coming but please, don't. Our letters are taking longer than usual to get to one another, but I have reason to believe it's because they're being intercepted. So please, be careful when writing and don't send anything you wouldn't want the commander seeing. I hope you're enjoying your time, I am very happy right now having spent the day with Reiner. Attached is a letter from Noah, he visited me earlier in the day. Love you always, Gwen.

You read the larger folded letter

(Y/N), my request to visit the Scout HQ has been denied. I have reason to believe your commander may be on to our plan. Burn my letter once you're finished reading. I have gotten a lunch date approved for the third Sunday of April. Still, run it by Commander Erwin, it will be approved. I have just come back from visiting your family, they are taking refuge within wall Sina, they're okay and very proud of you. We will talk more on our scheduled lunch. In the mean time, trust no one, that includes whoever is giving you this note, it will have an unbroken seal from the Military Police Brigade along with some Ink and Needles for you. There are many shops here and in my free time I like to browse the windows, I've managed to befriend a store owner and he has a special blend of India ink and tattoos some customers. I thought of you and immediately had to get it for you. Don't get in trouble, just have a bit of fun, and don't ink up anywhere that's visible! I'm serious, don't make me regret this. I do miss you so much each day that it aches. In the mean time, do you think you can practice the MP emblem on an orange or something? Anyway, I love you (Y/N).

You go and check the seal, letting Noah's paranoia get to you, and you hug the letters. Your eyes start to tear up and you allow yourself some time to feel sorry for yourself. You've seen your friends every day for 15+ years and now it's been almost an entire week without them. You can't wait to see them both, tell them all about your adventures so far. Tell them about how some feelings are creeping up, about how Noah was exactly right, Eld likes you, and you might like him, how you've finally mastered 3dm advanced tricks with the help of Petra who's one of the sweetest people you've ever met. You want to reassure them that you feel loved and that you're okay, and to thank Noah for seeing you in his surroundings, he's so thoughtful. You dash to your desk and start writing to them, detailing your weekend only and sharing how loved you feel, being careful not to hint that you may have heard from them. You be sure to include how much you miss them both and make it your mission to send these out, not being distracted on the way down to the mail room. Before you head out, you reassemble your brush and make sure to hide the ink in your desk drawer, being sure to disguise it as pen ink, and store the needles in your end side table, conveniently placing them next to some threads. You're amused by how believable it appears.