Hesitation 18+🔞

Chapter 58: Basket Case

R.I.P Jacques🕊️💔

Levi glanced at the clock as he meticulously wrapped the broken glass in a towel.

"I need to toss this." He declared, "and since I'm going downstairs, I'm going to make myself some tea."

You spring out of the bed.
"I need more water."

"Let's go then."

You both make your way down the creaky stairs towards the kitchen, a dark and heavy presence hanging over you. Levi was aware of it, but chose to remain silent, sensing your sour disposition. He understood that whatever's going on in your mind, it was a battle only you could confront. He's given you his advice, it's up to you to use it.
Neither one of you are in a talkative mood as you rehydrate at your table. You spend the majority of the time torturing yourself in your own head as overthinking consumes you, zoning in and out. You only pull yourself out to drink your water and tea so you don't have to hear Levi's nagging.

Once you're both finished, Levi collected the glasses and his tea set, washing them while you remained anchored to your chair, your body numb as your brain continues to go wild.
He brings a larger jug of water back upstairs with you, and you crawl right back into the bed. You toss and turn, unable to fall back asleep. You're forcing yourself to be numb, but all it did was stir restlessness, even anxiety. Your heart refused to slow its frantic pace, making sleep impossible.

"It's a quarter after one. You need to sleep." His voice sounded irritated from the corner of the room.

"What do you think I've been trying to do the past hour?" You reply, helplessness seeping through your tone

"We have training tomorrow. Come on, I need you well rested." His voice softened at your confession, as he's no stranger to elusive slumber.

"I wish I could train right now. I'm awake, not even tired."

"Yeah, but you're going to be tired by the time we're at training tomorrow."

"Then how do you stay awake?"

"My tea."

"Doesn't that also help you sleep?"

"Nothing helps me to sleep"

"There are many different kinds of tea, maybe the kind of tea you're drinking is the kind of tea that keeps you up."

"I don't know.. it's just, I only know one kind of tea."

"I showed you other kinds.. come to think of it, I remember my father, giving me a chamomile tea before bed. And it really did help me sleep. He even drank it as well."

"I've never heard of it."

"I'm gonna get it next time I can." You look down, regretting the excitement in your voice. "Because clearly I'm not getting any sleep tonight."

You're supposed to be pushing this man away, you could die at any time and you don't want him to miss you.
It's so hard, but you lay in your bed and pretend to fall asleep so you can spare him the worry, at least for tonight.

Training passed by in a blur, your personal mission to improve your physical endurance overpowered the exhaustion you felt.
As per Erwin's instructions, Levi escorted you to the weapons room, a sanctuary of lethal tools, each with its own deadly allure. It was yet another reminder of your harsh reality, and in order to survive, you have to adopt that very harshness.
The walls were lined with an array of weapons, each more menacing than the last. You ran your fingers over the handles of different swords and the cold, metallic scent of the room was overpowering. Your mind began to race again as flashbacks from the battles fought resurface, and anxiety for those yet to come.