The Death Of Me ✔️

lypophrenia

Lypophrenia
(n.) a vague feeling of sadness seemingly
without any cause.

...

Chapter 13

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"Please, please stop crying Tara." Shawn whispered in my ear. Strangely enough, I started crying in our school, he literally hugged me and carried me to the car. After we somehow settled down he drove us back home, not letting my hand go. Now, we were sitting in our living room. He was being surprisingly caring. He held me close to him as I sobbed.

I don't really know why I was scrying. Was it all for Spencer? Was I crying for him or was I crying because the way he made feel was simply not describable? I really had no one treating me like this in a long long time.

"Was it something Spencer did?" He asked rather harshly this time. Yes, it was. But just not the way he thought. My sobbing calmed down a bit. For what I registered, I wasn't shaking anymore.

"There there, it's fine. What's wrong?" He patted my back in soothing way.

"Everything." I mumble, which came incoherent because my face was pressed against his chest. His shirt was wet, he didn't complain once.

"Everything?" Shawn asked. So he heard. I mumble back something inaudible, as if agreeing. His hand ran up and down my back. It felt good and soothing almost. I wanted him to know but I was way too tired for anything.

"Tara. Just tell me if it was Spencer. I'll kill him myself." He said to me. I felt myself smiling. "Was it something he did? You can tell me anything."

"I'm tired." I whisper, which he didn't hear. Instead, he rested his head on top of mine and sighed.

"I don't want you to cry, please." He said slowly. "I want to help.. I really do but you're not really mending. I want to solve whatever is wrong. Can you please.. please tell me what happened?"

For how long would I cry? Was there anything to cry about?

I sigh. Maybe he could be trusted, who knows. But I feel drained. I wanted to cuddle and forget what happened today. I want to wake up next morning and not remember anything at all. Forget that Spencer happened to me.

Closing my eyes I let myself lean comfortingly against Shawn. The last thing I remember is Shawn's touch. Good things do exist in this world, I learnt that today.

The next morning I woke up to was the strangest morning in my short seventeen years of existence. I was cuddled up next to Shawn St.Claire. How did we even fit on this couch?

My eyes felt so heavy. I try to lift up my head and curse immediately. My neck was aching so badly. I lay back and turn to see Shawn. His mouth was slightly ajar as he slept, making a sound with his nose every time he breathed. Events of last night came flashing, Spencer, FBI, Carlos and then finally, Shawn.

"Tara?" I heard a husky voice. That's the morning voice girls drool over?

"Shawn." I mutter not looking at him. Looking at him will make everything awkward. Everything.

"Sleep good?" I just hum in response. I've never felt so tired and lifeless. It's like I'm a zombie.

"Pancakes?" He asks again and I can't help but smile. Mom comes back tomorrow, then Justin and him will be gone. How will I survive without his pancakes then?

"Yes, please." I say, my own voice was hoarse. He hummed back, clearly he was tired too.

"What about the match?" I ask him. Only so he couldn't ask me about last night.