Best Years - L.R.H

7.

I came here to get away from some people. Clear my head and figure out who I want to be, not who I'm told to be. For so long I've just been drifting without an end goal in sight.

It's been one week and I feel like a different person. I couldn't understand why I felt so changed, until it hit me.

For the first time in forever I'm hanging out with poeple that actually give a shit about me. One week's friendship with the boys, and obviously Burda, put me in this feel good mood.

When the guy grabbed me, I was so scared. It wasn't the first time someone had done something like that to me, but it was the first time poeple I considered to be my friends intervened.

The last thing I wanted was people bringing it up and pitying me. They didn't mention it and instead just made me laugh. I don't even know where to begin with Luke.

Of course I think he's cute, after I kissed him on the cheek things have been different. Not different in a romantic way, he's way out of my league, but in a way that made me feel closer to him.

The boys gave me confidence. I wanted to keep my distance at first, to avoid any issues but I'm glad I let myself fool around with them. I have a feeling after this week is over, we might actually never see each other again. I'll still hear their music and maybe they'll hear stuff about me. I don't know,

I'm not that worried about it. I didn't allow any permanent changes to happen, so I have nothing to lose. I'm gonna go home and make some changes in my life. I wish the boys could know how much they've done for me.

I didn't get any panic attacks last night which was awesome. I got a good night's sleep so I was ready for the long day of collecting donations. Ashton, cal and Michael wisely chose to wear long sleeves.

It wasn't just Luke who came to visit my booth, but ahston and Michael came over a lot. Cal was flirting with a girl.

I actually got burned a little. Just on my cheeks. Luke tanned though. I swear nothing bad can happen to him.

After the collecting was over we all went back to our dressing rooms. I quickly took a shower. I told the boys I'd head over to them once I was dressed.

Tonight's schedule wasn't so hectic. Every few hours a different artist would perform a few songs. I was going on second, I wasn't so sure about the boys.

I didn't know what they were planning on wearing but i really thought long and hard about my outfit. If you had asked me a week ago, I would've said 'I don't know, just an outfit with like ten layers of clothing.'

It's weird how easier it is to like yourself when someone else likes you. Luke told me he thought I was beautiful, now I feel like I wanna dress up like a bad bitch.

Im wearing skinny jeans and the crop top I wore yesterday. A lot of my midriff was Exposed. I tied my red flannel around my waist, It made me feel a bit better about being so exposed.

My breasts and stomach were really on display. I didn't have a flat stomach, I had a little baby belly.

I finally put on the maroon lipstick. It really accentuated my lips. I added mascara and for the last touch, put some gloss over my lips Just to make them shine. I had no clue what to do with my hair. I always tied it up, I think nows the time to change that.

I made a half up half down pony tail. The best part about the outfit in my opinion was ashtons bandana. I swiped it from Luke yesterday.

I spent a few minutes just looking in the mirror, I felt good. I've never felt good wearing something like this before. I waked over to the boys before I could get nervous and change my mind. I knocked on the door.