Chapter 73

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When I woke up in the middle of the night, I felt comfortable for probably one second. And that comfortableness for that one second was all thanks to the guy that was laying next to me. Matt had his arm around me in the same way that Eddie had, but he was laying on his stomach and I was laying on my side, facing him. My head was on his shoulder and my legs were over his legs. It was comfortable.

But that comfortableness disappeared the moment I took a breath, because when I did that, I felt like everything in my body had to get out. I pushed Matt's arm away, and he woke up and muttered something, but I ran towards the bathroom that was here and I put my head over the toilet and I puked my guts out.

I heard the bathroom door open in between puke sessions. "Nooo. Go away, I'm disgusting." I said and when I said that, everything that I had said during when I was drunk, combined with looked at the puke; the emotions came out of me. I started to sob while puking and I hated it.

Matt went and stood next to me and he grabbed all of my hair, even if it was covered in puke and put it in a hair tie. He went and sat down behind me and he put his legs over my legs and his hands on my back and he rubbed it. Normally I didn't want to be touched, but it helped, it soothed me. I had puked all over my clothes too, but right now I didn't care.

I was disgusting. I was- I couldn't breathe. I put my head on the toilet and I looked at Matt whom was staring at me with some sadness and I then turned my head and I puked some more. This lasted for a whole hour. During that hour, Matt didn't say one word. He rubbed my back, he gave me a bottle of water and then let me puke all that water out again.

"Take this." He whispered after an hour as he handed me something, he had stood up and walked away at one point. It was a pill. "It's an anti hangover pill for the headache." He said carefully and I nodded as I took it and he handed me a bottle and I took a huge gulp. I looked at him and I closed my eyes for a second.

"I'm disgusting." I whispered softly as I put my head back down, him flushing the puke again. He then went towards the shower and he turned the shower on to probably the perfect temperature. He then walked up to me and he held out his hands towards me and I looked at my puke ridden hands, but he then grabbed them and pulled me up. I was still crying, I was embarrassed, I was in pain, everything was too much for me.

"I'm going to undress you ok? Not for sexual things, but that way you can take a shower ok?" He said and I nodded looking at him. "Are you ok with that?" I nodded again and he nodded. He took off the sweater I was wearing and I was standing in front of him naked, but he didn't even look at that. He then took off my underwear, me putting my hands on his shoulders and I stepped out of them. He then went towards the bath and put it on for me, while he walked with em to the shower. He helped me get the puke from everywhere, he washed my hair, my face, he helped me with my nails, all the while not looking at my naked body in front of him. He was getting wet too, but it didn't seem to bother him. I kept staring at him and at his face while he did this, as his face calmed me down.

"Do you not love me anymore?" I asked carefully as I looked at his underwear for a second; he slept with only his underwear, and it- it wasn't hard. He looked at where I was looking and then back at my face.

"I don't see you as a sexual being at this exact moment. Seeing the love of my life mentally broken down isn't a turn on for me." He whispered back softly. "No man should be turned on by a sobbing woman." He said and I nodded slowly as he then leaned towards me, and I took a step back for a second, because I was afraid. "I'm turning off the shower. Do you want me to communicate whenever I make sudden movements?" I nodded staring at him with my eyes wide and he nodded. "I will do that then. I'm turning the shower off and I'm then going to place you in a nice hot bath. That used to calm you down." He said. "Is that ok?"

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