A Manager From Heaven (girlxgirlxgirl)

8. A powerless hero

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"Do you want to become a soldier?"

Sometimes Tangie doesn't feel like an angel.

There is just so much hatred in her heart, so much hatred in her body that sometimes, she just can't pretend to be as kind as the other angels around her. And sometimes, sometimes she thinks her training master must think so, too. Why else would she be here, bloody, bruised and exhausted, while the rest of her peers are already asleep?

"Yes"

But a soldier, that is certainly something she wants to become. A soldier doesn't just have to be nice like the rest of these angels. A soldier can go down to the human world. A soldier can kill demons. A soldier can be cold hearted and cruel, unforgiving and uncaring even if angels normally aren't supposed to be that. That's what Tangie is, and has always been, and being a soldier would allow her to be like that without getting so many looks and whispered insults.

"Then do better. You are not good enough right now. Do. Better."

Tangie wants to get up from the dirty training ground and yell at him. She wants to shout at him, tell him how unfair it is that she is here, suffering harder than anyone else, and yet somehow he calls her unworthy. She is stronger than all of her peers combined, greatly because of the fact that her trainer drags her out of the sleeping chambers every single night for extra training. The other angels are jealous of her for getting that extra attention. Tangie wishes they could know what she knows. She wishes they could go through what she goes through, every single fucking night.

She's so exhausted. So tired. Every morning they have to train, and it continues well into the evening. Becoming an angel soldier requires years of this boot camp style training, and it exhausts even the strongest angels. But Tangie doesn't get just that, no. She also trains every night, getting barely a few hours of sleep for years on end, surviving by a thread. She never gets better, either. Every single night she ends up bruised and bloody on the ground, with nothing but the moon above to stare down at her, and her ugly trainers face. And every night he tells her that she is hopeless, a lost cause, weaker than weak, unable to do anything. She can never prove him wrong when they train together, one on one. But whenever she trains with the whole group she knows she could beat every single one of them, all at once.

Maybe she should feel thankful. Thankful that she is stronger than anyone else her age. Thankful that he has trained her so harshly and neglected the rest of them.

But Tangie doesn't feel thankful. She barely feels alive.

"Do you guys have.... Uh..... bread?"

Does pretending to be a human automatically come with stupidity? Because Tangie is starting to think that might be so. The lady behind the counter of the bakery gives her a tired, mindless stare and Tangie smiles awkwardly. This is a terrible start to her work week. She already hates these demons more than she has hated anything else, ever.

"Bread, Ma'am?"

"Yes, anything. Just... how about you give me the most popular bread you have here"

She tries again, feeling like an alien from outer space. This is so awkward. Bread in the angel realm is one of the biggest staple foods, and one of the first foods their ancestors ever made. Therefore, unlike most things, different types of bread have different names in the angel realm than down here. Tangie usually feels quite confident when going undercover as a human, but somehow she has never had to, or been bothered to, learn the names of different breads in the human realm. The lady behind the counter looks at her like Tangie is her very last straw and Tangie can do nothing but smile back.