Destined

27.

The last thing I remember, Jayon had fallen asleep in my lap. He rubbed my stomach for awhile though, even played with my braids. It was like he was trying to prevent himself from going to sleep before me, but ended up falling anyway.

I didn't feel comfortable going to sleep so incautiously with him just on my lap unwillingly. It had just hit 4 am, my mother would be sure to open my door at at least 7.

I didn't want to wake him, but I knew I couldn't keep him asleep either. It was depressing to know that the first intimate moment I'd ever had with somebody had to be kept a secret from my mother, just because she didn't approve of me having a boyfriend. If she found out about this, she would be sure to kick me out of her house. I knew that her patience with me was thin because my age was increasing and she expected more from me.

But I couldn't be more perfect than she expected me to be. All my life she's kept me from things that could have helped me mature better. Things that could have helped me grow. Things that could have helped me understand what it was like to be an actual teenager.

The average teenager knew more than was needed by 16.

Me on the other hand, was learning things AT 16. It's embarrassing to be confused by a certain subject or word when your around a diverse group of teens who obviously know everything. I didn't wanna be taught anything. I wanted to experience everything myself but my selfish mother took that opportunity away from me. I didn't hate her for that but I acknowledged that it just wasn't fair the way she raised me.

Don't get me wrong there were some pros in being an innocent teenager. Boys like Jayon, came in your life and showed you everything you were missing. I think that's the best thing there was about being, who I was.

I stroke my hand across the top of his head, watching him as he slept so peacefully on my lap. It was like he wasn't worried about getting caught, because he knew he would be around me regardless. I knew too.

A knock hits my door. I begin to panic, clenching my eyes shut. This was the moment where I knew I would get caught. The moment I had been dreading since I snuck him in here.

"Dj," I hear a small voice from the other side of my door. "It's Deon, are you home?"

My panic state decreases. If he didn't know whether I was home or not I didn't have to let him know that I was. I stayed quiet, but that didn't help for long because I began to hear the jiggling of a key sounding in my doorknob.

I knew he didn't have a key to my door, because I didn't even have a key to my door. It irritated me to know that he was still so worried about me. It irritated me to know that he was shoving something inside of my door to open it at 4 o' clock in the morning. Why was he even awake at this time?

"Fuck, Deon go away," I rose my voice when the jiggling sound increased.

"Dj?" He says excitedly. The door opens and he turns the light on, standing in his place while his eyes made contact with Jayon's sleeping body, looking back at me in shock.

"No way," he says to me. He walks in, shutting my door slowly behind him.

"Damn it," I say, putting my hand on my forehead. "Turn my light back off!" Anger immediately fuels my insides.

"Dj, what the hell? Who is this?" He asks.

"Shut up Deon. He's sleeping and I didn't plan on waking him up yet,"

"Yet?" His eyes go wide. "He shouldn't even be here. If mom comes in and sees him sleeping on you like this, your life is ending before his does,"

"Get out," I threaten him. I didn't have time to hear any of his bullshit. I already knew me letting Jayon in here would result in more drama but I didn't regret it at all.

"What's wrong with you?  Every since you've met this boy you've been getting into nothing but trouble,"

"Okay Dad," my voice changes. I rub the side of my neck and shake my head. The tone of my voice felt like it had gotten higher, showing that it had just rose. My voice usually didn't start changing or raising unless I was catching a cold.

"Wake him up," Deon says.

"I'm not going to yell anymore. My throat is scratchy and it's 4 in the morning. Get out of my room," I say calmly.

"Dj he needs to leave," Deon says once again.

Jayon shifts in my lap, moving his head side to side while the bridge of his nose rose. He was getting cold I could tell.

I grabbed a side of my cover and threw it on him, watching as he got more comfortable in my lap again. It was so cute the way he relaxed once he was warm.

"No, you need to leave," I say.

"I'm your brother. And not only that, I actually live here!" He raises he voice, causing my anxiety to raise.

"What the hell are you trying to do? Get me caught? Mom can wake up right now if she wanted too," I clinch my fist at him angrily.

"No..." he begins. "You're being stupid. You know she comes in here every morning to see if you're sleeping before she leaves to work,"

"Okay," I respond. "She does the same shit with you, your point?"

"How is he gonna be gone in less then 3 hours? He's knocked out,"

"Don't fucking worry about him. Get out of my room," I warn him.

Deon finally stops going back and forth with me. He had given up on trying to persuade me to wake Jayon up this early. Finally.

He makes his way out of my room, turning the light off and slowly shutting my door without another word.