Destined

102

Hours went by the longer Jayon stayed at my house. We had been in my room with the door locked, staring at the walls in silence. The last thing I had said to him was "Let's go to my room," and since then neither of us spoke. He stared, but he didn't say a word to me.

"You leave in 2 days," I say. He looks at me, still quiet. "Why aren't you talking to me Jayon?"

"What is there to say at this point? You don't wanna be with me any more Dj," he says.

"I never said that-"

"That's how you've been acting, and actions will always speak louder than words,"

He had said that to me before, from what I remembered."I didn't expect you to come to my house," I tell him, turning towards him completely.

"What else was I suppose to do to get a word from you? You cut me off for days."

"Yeah Jayon but there was a reason why I was doing that," I shook my head.

"For what reason? Your dad being here?" He asks. "Is he the reason why you've been treating me like a fucking stranger?"

"Don't cuss at me," I start.

He rolls his eyes. "I thought we were more than that Dj. I really did,"

"Jayon we are more than that but you have to understand that he's my father and I know how he acts," I tell him.

"I don't even believe he's the only reason bruh. Is there another nigga in your life or something?" He asked.

"Jayon no!"

"Then why have you been avoiding me Dj! Why have you been fucking avoiding me KNOWING I have to leave in 2 days! 2 fucking days I'm gone and you act like you don't care bruh! We could have been spending time together-"

"Stop yelling at me Jayon! I get it! I know what the hell I did and I know I've been wrong but I needed a break, I had a fucking panic attack for this exact reason! Don't you get it? I can't argue with you anymore, I don't want too and I'm not going too! So if you're gonna keep yelling like you're crazy get the hell out!" I scream, rushing towards the door. I swung it open and watched him as he stood to his feet. He walked towards me and slammed the door, locking it once again.

"I'm not walking away from you without being on good terms," he said quietly.

I wiped my eyes. "Then please. Just stop,"

"You don't realize how much you mean to me Dj, and it fucks me up how much I let you control my emotions like this."

I stared at him.

"And I think I'm over doing it. I've been over doing everything with you since I met you,"

"What is that suppose to mean?" I question him. "You didn't over do anything Jayon,"

"Nah, I did. That's the thing. You know I did. You only saying that to satisfy me Dj but any person that knows us knows that. I seen you and bam, wanted you to be mines. There was no type of friendship connection or none of that, it was purely animalistic,"

I stared at the ground. He was right. He wanted me based off my looks, how I appeared to him, and I wanted him from the same things. We didn't have a bond built up, we only built each other up from unrealistic expectations, and maybe that was why we argued so much. We didn't know each other as well as we made it seem like we did,"

"That can be true, but it'll never change the fact that I love you. You were my first everything regardless," I told him.

"Remember when I told you I was gonna be your first and last everything?" He grinned. He said that just a couple months ago. It was crazy.

"Yeah," I answered. "I really believed it,"

"So did I," he tells me.

It's silent between us again. All I could do was stare at him, looking at the way his face had tensed up along with the rest of his body. I could tell he was bothered with how things turned out between us because so was I. We had the same energy towards each other, and that was one thing that was definitely true about us.

"Thank you Dj," he speaks after awhile.

"For what?"

"For showing me how I was suppose to be loved. I had always got special love from my grandmother but you know, that was a grand mother type of love. I felt some real shit with you for the first time in my life. We had our ups and downs but I wouldn't trade any of it for anything,"

I looked down at my feet, blushing at the memories I had shared with him until this point. I really didn't see myself not being with Jayon, I thought I did, and I forced myself to think that way for my own health, but I was attached to him, and there wasn't anything any one (or I) could do about it.

"Look at me," he said. I listened.

"Ain't it weird how you're only talkative when you're mad at me?" He asked. "I could be the most sentimental mothafucka' on this earth and I'd barely get a heartfelt response from you, but I swear if I piss you off you can say a thousand words,"

"I don't know why it's so hard for me to talk to you like how you talk to me Jayon. I guess when I'm mad at you though I want you to know why and basically, what you can do to fix it,"

"Yeah. See, you only talk to explain yourself. I wanna know what you truly feel Dj. I need to know before I leave," he tells me.

"You already know that I love you,"

"That's all you ever say. I want you to get deep with it,"

"I'm not a deep person," I sighed. "I mean, I wish I could show you my thoughts. You'd be over whelmed but you'd still know just how much I really love you, and how much I'll love you for the rest of my life,"

"Come on Dj. Not the rest of your life. You'll find someone else,"

"That means nothing Jayon. I don't want any one else."

He shakes his head. "Not exactly what I wanted to hear since I'm leaving in 2 days," he tells me.

"I know it isn't but I still thought you should know," I say.

"You just saying that now. You're gonna handle this Dj and you're gonna handle it better than I am,"

"Stop assuming shit Jayon. You honestly have no idea how my emotions work,"

"Alright Dj," he tells me. "I think imma go home then,"

"Why would you leave now?"

"Because it's time. We've talked for hours and I gotta get back to my shit. You got school tomorrow, so get ready for that,"

"Why are you suddenly acting weird with me?"

"Oh so it's okay for you to act weird with me but when I do it it's a problem?" He smirks, but not in a good way. "That's that shit,"

"How many times do I have to apologize for that Jayon? I know you didn't deserve that and I'm sorry. My mind was somewhere else at the time,"

"Yeah, and so is mines," he says, standing to his feet. "You can call me tomorrow,"

"Fine," I say. My heart seemed to sink when I seen him walk out of my room. He didn't even bother to turn back either, he just left, and it was silent again.