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I wish I could tell you what I remembered when I laid there with Blu fucking me and my man gone with Chyna, but I can't

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I wish I could tell you what I remembered when I laid there with Blu fucking me and my man gone with Chyna, but I can't. Neither do I want to re-tell it even if I did. But something deep in my stomach, and I mean real deep in my stomach to the point it was knocking at my asshole, didn't make this situation sit right with me. 

Blu could have had any bitch in the world of any walk of life, any race, any class, why did he feel like it was cool to fuck his business partner's girlfriend? And what is it about him saying Negotations always  leave someone losing and someone winning That just made me want to throw up? 

I- I had to get the fuck outta this hotel and go see my girl Jamie and warn her about Bear. I had to get to her first and i'll figure out the rest later. 

It felt like I had bricks strapped to my ankles when I tried to move them, but I needed to get up. I needed to shower and get this nigga cologne off me before Cut got back and suspected anything. Even if I know for a fact that I didn't come on to this nigga, I didn't want Cut to suspect anything. If you ask me, that dude was still scattered from Sparkle getting shot. He ain't been saying shit to me about it, but I been trying to eavesdrop on his phone calls when he mentions her and I don't think its looking good. I really don't know. I don't even remember that night like that after that bag broke in me. 

And knowing that Blu, who was back on the balcony smoking and watching Netflix like ain't shit happened, fixed my bag so it would break in me just made me want to strip off my skin and throw it off that same balcony into the water. I felt disgusted all over again and I needed to just be with the one person who kept the shit solid after all these years, my baby Jamie. 

I peeked my head out of the bedroom, looking left and right to make sure that that nigga really was out the way. When the coast was clear, I locked the door and reached for my phone, fingers shaking at the mash of each button. With a few quick breaths, I held the receiver up to my ear and the ringing sounding like it was at volume 1000 and not 100. Its like I could call Cut, sure, and let him know of this shit that Blu doing but then one side of my brain was like Well, what if Blu actually do pull the plug on working with Cut and he point the finger at you coming on to him? Then where is that going to lead you? Broke and looking like a thirsty bitch.

"Fuck!" I breathed aloud, frustrated with all this shit. Chyna told me that there was going to be times where I would have to make tough choices for the bigger picture but now its starting to feel like the shit is out of the frame, bro. 

The receiver stopped ringing and it clicked like someone picked up the phone. It was Jamie.

"Damn, bae, two calls in one day? Cut must be-"

"Jamie," I cut her off, trying to control the shaking of my voice. "You home? You with bear?"

Jamie was taken back by the seriousness in my voice. I almost heard her sit straight up in the bed. 

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