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"You gon' figure it out?"  my daddy sucked his teeth and shook his head.

"Baby, I know you grown and shit. But i'm a grown ass nigga. Been ten toes down in the streets and shit." he tapped his temple two times before flicking the lighter twice, pulling on the blunt, and exhaling out the window. 

"Saying you going to figure it out means you don't have a plan even in thought yet." he said matter of factly. 

I didn't know what it was about my daddy and the way he talked, but he was the kind of nigga to already have the summary to a situatuon played out in his head. And i'll be damned if I said his theories don't be accurate as fuck. 

Even though I was  a lil' girl, I was always that child who peeked out the bedroom hallway when daddy would have his homeboys over and shit. He would have them around the jet black dinner table with weed and cups of Henny and Dussey just flowing. He always had that rule to don't bring no business home, but he always had some weed at the crib. 

He was always 10 steps ahead of the niggas that called themselves beefing with him and I admired that so much in him. Whatever beef a nigga had with my daddy, he either squashed it, partnered with the niggas in the business, or had them niggas working for him running the streets being lookout and shit. He mtoivated me to be 20 toes on these niggas 10 each and every step of the way - but why did it feel like I was puttingall my weight on fucking one?

He continued on, ashing the blunt out the window onto Jamie driveway. 

"I'm going to be here for you, shawty, always. And I know I can't be like don't date this nigga and I'm definitely not going to overstep after so many years. But I do want to tell you, niggas like me, niggas like Cut, we always and I mean Always Got cash on our minds. And I've done some grimy shit in these streets when it came to my money. Shot a nigga, hung one over the Biscayne Bridge, all type of crazy shit when I was young and I ain't have no beautiful daughters to look after."

He bent his index finger and placed it under my chin to tilt it slightly upwards. My eyes followed his hand to his forearm until they met his almond-shaped eyes.  When he smiled you saw the wrinkles dimpling in the corner of his eyes and I could tell why my mama fell head over heels for him. 

"That means you too, Anaiis."

I tried to hide my smile, shaking my head away from him. 

"It-" I swallowed the fear that was building up in me and settled for a safeasy response.

"I'm glad we able to see eachother daddy. Real glad."

"Me too, baby. Me fucking too."

The thought crossed my mind only briefly but it stuck to the wall like double-sided tape and I figured while we out here, I might as well get some kind of other clarity. 

"Daddy?" I spoke up first this time,

"Wassup?" he didn't look my way this time. He was texting back some people who I assumed to be his wife checking in. I figured i'll save that conversation in the queue for another day.

"Was mama on drugs before or after you met her?"

The question caught him clear off guard by the way he immediately stopped texting and tightened his jaw. With a deep breath, he kept texting. Slower this time. 

"You don't have to answer if you-"

"Nah, you should know. Lemme just text my wife right quick."

Click click click click click. Swoop! 

His iphone made the lock sound as he placed it face down on the dashboard.

"I'll keep it real with you. Your mama was a party girl before I met her. But when I was dating her way back in the day before you and Za, she was dating an up and coming Kingpin named Dice before me. He was the one I believe got her put on to coke and shit. Round me, she just smoked weed. Even when we broke up and she ended up dating Benzino, rest his soul, she wasn't even using like that like that."

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