Lost Loving Souls (Connor x Reader)

Chapter 137

It was almost June now. You had just gotten done unpacking your things. You'd finally ended your stay at Jericho and you were going to go back to work the next day. You'd probably taken more 'vacation' that year than you'd ever had in your life. You made sure to feed the cats once you'd finished with everything else. You chuckled as the kitten's dove in. 

"You're not cats, you're pigs." You chuckled before leaving them all to their meal. 

You began to clean the house since you'd been gone for a while. You turned on some music before getting to work. You dusted all of the different rooms, making sure to get the little spaces that had accumulated their big gray wads. 

After everything had been dusted off properly, you got the vacuum, getting all of the dust and hair that had escaped you and fallen onto the floor. It was probably the longest activity, but you pushed on, knowing it had to get done sometime. You were used to it anyway.

Then, you did the mopping. You started in the kitchen before switching to the bathroom. You cleaned off the mirror and made sure it was nice and shiny again. You double-checked the kitchen once you'd finished with the bathroom before putting everything away. 

After that, you decided to take a lunch break. You made yourself something easy; a half a sub sandwich which was stuffed with everything you liked. You were very hungry by the time you'd finished your first chuck of chores, so you didn't care if you were overdoing it a bit.

After your delicious and refreshing lunch, you cleaned the plate just so that way all of the dishes were clean. Once you were done with that, you took a moment to think of anything else that might've needed to get done. 

You decided on doing the laundry since you still had plenty of dirty clothes from your time spent at New Jericho. You separated what you had to before tossing your clothes into the machine and running it. 

While they were washing, you watched one of your favorite episodes of one of your shows. You heard the beep of the washing machine coming from the laundry room, signifying that your clothes were done. You put most of them in the drier after pulling out the items that needed to be hung up. 

Finally, you were done with everything you needed to do. You'd do the rest of your clothing tomorrow. You sighed heavily, glad to have everything done and glad to be done with everything.

You went back into the bedroom to change into more comfortable clothes. As you were just finishing putting a baggy tan top on, you heard a knock at the door. You went to answer it and when you opened the door, you were stunned by who was there. His smile was as bright, pure, gentle, and loveable as ever as he greeted you.

"Hello, (Y/n). Surprised to see me?" You smiled back at him, your heart lifting for a few moments.

"Connor! You're home!" You hugged him. He chuckled and hugged back. "Why didn't you tell me you were coming home today? I would've come to get you!" 

"I tried to call you, but after the first attempt I decided to make it a surprise." You explained. You remembered him trying to call you. The joy of his return had been short-lived after he said that. You tried not to show your guilt.

"Oh, I'm sorry. I must've been busy and forgot to check if it was you." You lied. He took the bait much to your relief. You felt bad that you even had a reason to lie to him after all your time apart. It felt wrong and it only made you feel worse.

"It's alright, my love. I'm just glad to finally see you again." He said, kissing the top of your head while being completely unaware of the regret that was eating away at you.

"Y-yeah. I'm glad your home." You told him, holding him so you could hide your guilt-stricken face in the fabric of his shirt.

"Is everything alright? I had predicted you'd be more enthused by my return." He said. You swallowed hard.

"O-oh, sorry. It's just been a long day. I stayed with my sister for a bit. It got quiet around here, you know? I just finished unpacking and putting everything away." You told him. It's not a lie, it's not a lie. You repeated to yourself. He smiled understandingly at you.

"Oh, of course. You must be tired. I will handle all of my things. You just rest on the couch. I'll come out once I'm finished and then we can spend the rest of the day watching whatever you like." He offered. You smiled warmly at him.

"That sounds great." He smiled and took his bag to the bedroom as you grabbed a blanket and wrapped yourself up in it as you pulled your legs up, holding them close to your body as you sat on the couch. You tried to watch TV, but you felt so much guilt. Is this how it's going to be from now on? Stepping on eggshells around him to hide this horrible secret? To hide my disaster of a mistake?

Connor came back and he looked stunned. He hurried over, cupping your cheek. You looked at him in surprise. He looked concerned as he quickly sat down beside you. His brown eyes held so much love that it made you want to scream out your mistake and how sorry you were, but your body was somehow unable to do so. Your fear had too much control over you, making it impossible for you to be honest with him. The thought of driving him away was more than you could bear.

"Are you alright? Why are you crying?" You hadn't even noticed your tears until he'd pointed them out. You wiped them away with your wrist, giving him a sad yet reassuring smile as you did so.

"Y-yeah, I was just...worried. S-since we hadn't talked in a while and I was afraid of something happening to you. I-I guess it was more upsetting than I expected. I-I know I'm being silly, since you're here and you're obviously f-fine, heh. I-I'm..." The words were caught in your throat as the true weight of them couldn't be expressed by you. You could never let him know your terrible secret. "I-I'm sorry." He smiled softly at you, holding you close and hushing you just like he always did. His comfort was a bittersweet sentiment to you now.

"Shh...it's alright. I'm home now and we can go back to how things were. I can hold you every day and you'll never have to worry about such things again. I'm not going anywhere. I promise, angel." You held onto him, your arms wrapping around his neck slowly as you returned his embrace. Oh, Connor...I'm so, so sorry...